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Excuses

 

Absence from Work

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Forwarded message:
From: Bill Hindin
Date: 97-29-12 17:57:26 EDT

Subject:How's this one??

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[Gee, some of these don't sound so "true" to me!!! :-) ]

Absence from School


EXCUSES ACTUALLY RECEIVED BY TEACHERS

  1. Irving was absent this morning becarse he missed his bust.
  2. Dear School: Please accuse John for being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, also 33.
  3. Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in with gramps.
  4. I had to keep Billie home because she ad to go Christmas shopping because I didn't know what size she wear.
  5. Please execute Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
  6. Mary could not come to school because she was bothered by very close veins.
  7. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
  8. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
  9. Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
  10. Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.
  11. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fisical ed. Please execute him.
  12. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
  13. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marine's.
  14. Please excuse Joyce from P7E for a few days. Yesterday she fell of a tree and misplaced her hip.
  15. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
  16. Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.
  17. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomache. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going around school, her father even got hot last night.
  18. Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sore trout.
  19. Please execute Wayne for being out yesterday, because he had the fuel.
  20. Please excuse Sarah for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Absence from Responsibility: OJ's Interview with Dr. Seuss    Poetic Prose: "Election" 2000


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